Are you ready for some football?

Argggh!

We are a little behind here at Team H.O.P.E. HQ! Have pics from Christmas in July that need posting. Have Golf Tournament info. Have two scintillating Pink Ribbon Product Reviews.



But, alas, today we talk about football.



Given that I have opinions about taxpayer subsidized sports stadiums and professional sports in general, and given that we try to keep this blog all positive and peppy - this will be a short post.



In answer to the question, "Is there anything you ladies won't do to raise money?" our team leader (and unabashed Texan) signed us up to work a concession stand at the University of Phoenix/ Arizona Cardinals Stadium.



I guess most of the concession stands are staffed by non-profit organizations. After each game that we work the stadium will make a donation to our cause based on a percentage of sales.

Our booth is #452 on the upper level. The name of our booth is the Touchdown Tortilla!



We will be selling beer and tacos and beer and nachos and beer and burritos and beer and churros and beer and pretzels. Pretzels? Oh, and soda pop too.



Our first game is tonight as the Arizona Cardinals play against the New Orleans Saints. If you come to the game please stop buy our stand and buy a cold drink and a hot taco!

(Oh - and we have received our alcohol compliance training and most of us are moms so if you are underage don't even think about trying to buy a beer from us! We will not only refuse to serve you - we will ground you!)



And in case you are wondering; we are allowed to accept tips but we are not allowed to solicit tips.



Hopefully we will see you all the game! Gates open at 3:00 and the game itself starts at 5:00 PM. Go team!

Tapadh Leibh!

Tapadh lebh. That's Scottish Gaelic for Thank You!

We do not have the time nor the bandwidth to give everyone the personal thanks they deserve for helping to make our Christmas in July such a Winter Wonderland sucess! Our sponsors and donors made our guests feel like, well like kids at Christmas. Our vendors were incredible! The nicest group of women you'ld ever want to meet.

And don't even get me started on Miss Toni and the food. If anyone left hungry it's their own darn fault! Sweet and savory and beautiful!

Thank you everyone! Thanks to all the people who did some of their holiday shopping with us!

In addition to the tangible stuff we can measure (and deposit into the threeday walk account) we are also grateful for all the kind words, warm wishes, encouraging thoughts and pure love we have received!

So why did we begin our post today with a scottish gaelic thank you???

Hmmn? I was going to explain - but maybe I should leave it as a riddle!

Y'all have a wonderful day
and remember it's only 147 days until Christmas in December!

Merry Christmas in July!

Today's the day!

Normally I love it when you read this blog,
but shouldn't you be at the Christmas in July Tea?

It is on Arizona Avenue between Ocotillo and Queen Creek.

Today, Saturday July 26th.

2 - 5 PM

Twas the Night Before Christmas in July

So tomorrow's the big day! I hope y'all are as excited as we are.

Something I was pondering on earlier was just how fortunate we are. (In fact I'm feeling so grateful that I suggested to Miss Jeannie that we have a Thanksgiving in June get together next year in addition to our Christmas in July. Then her eye started doing that funny twitch thing and somehow the subject got changed.)

But seriously - there is much to be grateful for. We have the encouragement and support (and donations) from big companies like Wrangler and Le Creuset. We are meeting people from small start up companies like The Winkee and Girlfriend Galas. We are the recipients of the generosity of the best Tejano Band in Germany. (I wish you all would quit laughing when I say that. These guys are fantastic!) When we recieve handwritten notes from these folks wishing us well I literally get a bit misty eyed. We just recieved a donation and a sweet note from a Mr. Shane Soldinger who is putting out a new CD and just recently got married but still found the time to help us out.

People are basically good, and some people are fantastic!

I bet even those people who buy black Christmas tree ornaments have some good in them. So far, not a single person I have talked to has liked the black ornaments. And I know some sleek and sophisticated people! Oh - that reminds me. I was going to tell you about the football thing. Maybe later - Christmas is so much more fun!

We reached the point with our Christmas in July Tea that we were turning consultants and vendors away. Oh boy. With all the rejection we endure (and I am speaking of fund raising rejection - not personal!) it is very hard for us to say no.

One of the people that approached us was a professional Santa Claus. Because we were out of room and because this is not a child oriented event we had to say no.

That's the reason we gave - and it's true, but the biggest reason is that Jeannie is Claus-trophobic!

It turns out that we are not the only people with Christmas on the brain. I was in a great little Mexican Seafood Restaurant in Albuquerque last week and saw a kid wearing a t-shirt that read, "Dear Santa, I can explain."

Of course it is too late for us to get some printed up before our Christmas in July Tea but it did make me laugh!

We had wanted to do some more shameless plugging for our incredible vendors and our generous sponsors but we are running out of time and space. So instead we will leave you with one of our favorite Christmas jokes:

Q: Why does Santa wear pink underwear?
A: He's a man. He did all his laundry in the one load.

Stash that instant tea under the counter!

I am a coffee drinker. I'm not saying that other beverages are unpatriotic - I have gotten over that whole British tea scam from 1773. Mostly. But tea is usually my second choice.

Except when it is 112 degrees out. There is only so much water and beer a person can drink on a summer day before that icy, amber colored elixir starts to beckon.

Now, I have nothing at all against Lipton Tea. I grew up in Arizona in the 70's, we didn't drink soda pop or individual bottle of water - we drank sun tea made in gallon jars with Lipton tea bags. And we liked it! It may have been bitter at times - so you add a little lemon. It may have been cloudy - but so was our water!

I also enjoy Luzianne Iced tea - with sugar. When Hank Jr. sang about 'corn bread and iced tea' I know he was talking about sweet southern tea. And you can damn sure bet the corn bread had real butter on it!

And yet. . . . sometimes you want something a bit more refined. Especially if you are hosting a Christmas in July Tea. And who rides in to the rescue? Our favorite Tea company - Stash!



We are so tickled to be able to serve this high quality, great tasting, cool and refreshing tea. We also have a Stash Tea Gift Certificate for one of our lucky guests.

I was going to post a few pics here of the fabulous selection of Tea Ware available from Stash but I couldn't decide which would be most enticing.

You like floral English garden sort of stuff? They have it!

You like sleek and elegant? They have it.

Need a Japanese tea pot that could double as a work of art? They have it.

They also have strange and wondrous accessories for tea that I have never seen before.

Their clearance center has Christmas in July gift sets significantly reduced!



One other thing that bears mentioning about Stash tea. In addition to all the great summer teas they have, that we will be serving at our event - they also make hot teas for the cooler weather. Naturally they have seasonal teas. And yes they have specific 'Christmas' teas. Look at these teas. Notice anything?

That's right - they are packaged in real Christmas colors! Bonus points for that!

algorithm and blues

One of the many things one can do with a website is track how many visitors one has and where they come from. I don’t mean that we can tell you were born in Connecticut (damn yankee) but we can tell that 6 people came to us from the East Valley Tribune site and 8 people came here from the AzCentral site. We can also find out which search terms people use.

One would think that if you were to enter an exact term that matched us that google would point you in our direction. Not so much. Try to google “Ladies of Perptual HOPE” and you will get three pages of “Ladies of perpetual Help” before you see any mention of us. It’s not that google has anything against us. It’s these algorithms that they use. Algorithms are little demons that the voodoo gods of the internet use for their own purposes.

There are ways to improve your chances of getting listed higher on the google page. Messing with search engine optimization is much like practicing Santería. It can be dangerous but people who live by it swear to it. We have done nothing here at H.O.P.E. H.Q. to optimize our search rankings. Maybe we should – but we have other fish to fry right now. Boy, a nice batter dipped filet with extra tarter sauce would be so yummy right now.

Sorry – back to topic.

Our friend at BrainCheese gets many more visitors than we do. She also gets many strange visitors. I smugly assumed it is because she has a potty mouth and is slightly sick and twisted. Whereas we here at H.O.P.E. are models of decorum and dignity. Then I decided to see how people found our site. Most folks that come here are people who are in some way related to our team members. That makes sense. I imagine some of our sponsors check in to see what sort of nice things we might be saying about them. The very first person to find our site via a search engine was searching for non-cal vodka mixes. Okay – we had a few vodka drink recipes in our early days, makes a degree of sense. Here are the latest four results:

"how to fake it at christmas" sent 1 total visits
"free baby hat knitting" sent 1 total visits
"pictur of lades brest" sent 1 total visits
"benifits to ladiesof water melon" sent 1 total visits

Gee thanks google! You really thought this was appropriate? The person looking for the baby hat left quickly, as did the person wondering how watermelon benefits ladies. The person looking for pictur of lades brest stayed awhile and looked at more than one page. Is it not abundantly and immediately clear that we are not a porn site?

Hopefully any of y’all reading this were not expecting a different site. If you were I’m sorry but the fault lies with the little algorithm demons. There is a Santería ritual we could do for bringing needed people to us, but it involves candles and we are not going to waste one of our Gold Canyon candles on voodoo!

(Ha! You thought we were going to miss an opportunity to shill for one of our Christmas in July vendors? Silly people!)

No.

I promised y'all the other day that I would share my special secret never fail way of saying no.

I was going to wait until after our Christmas in July Tea because when you come shopping with us I want you to say, "Yes, yes, yes! More, more, more!"

But then I thought - what if you really want to come to our event but you are afraid to because you've never been able to tell a Tupperware Lady, "no"?

First of all, Tupperware Ladies are a kinder and gentler breed than when our moms were selling it. And if you don't come and stop by the Tupperware table you'll miss your chance to order this:




It's their old standby cake taker - with added deviled egg server! I'm simply beside myself here!

(No, that wasn't sarcasm - what's wrong with you people? I am truly coveting this!)

So anyway - do not fear the tupper!

No one at our event is going to pressure you into doing something you don't want. But if someone out there in the cold cruel world (or the hot and muggy world) does want to pressure you I can help.


First of all - most of us are trained to explain ourselves, especially when we are giving the 'wrong' answer. So when the hypothetical Chia Home Decor & Nutritional Supplement Consultant asks us if we would like to host a Chez Chia Party we say, "No, I'm sorry, I have my 90 year old uncle living with me in a hospital bed in the living room."

You can bet our Chez Chia lady has a built in answer for that! I think that there is a company in New York that does nothing but think up ways to say no and then formulates arguments. I imagine their rates are outrageously high, partly because they already know the answer to, "Sounds good but I'm not sure we can afford it"

The company used to be based in Minnesota but the local workers have been taught since birth to respond with, "Not a problem. So sorry to bother you."

But I digress. (Okay - everyone surprised that I did not stay on topic raise your hand - I have some Chia seed for you!)

So when the Chez Chia lady (or even scarier - the president of the PTA - approaches you with a request you don't want to fulfill you say, "No."

Yep, that's the whole secret. "No."

The hardest part of this is stopping at the period. You say, "No."

You don't say, "Oh I would love to but. . . ."

You don't say, "No. If there was any way I could.. . . "

Try this on something easy - you need to practice because it is way harder than it sounds. It is almost impossible in the beginning for those of us raised with strict manners. But it works!

One thing I do just to keep it interesting and to keep from feeling like a monster is to add stuff at the beginning,

"Oh, aren't you sweet for asking. No."



I like to use that one on phone sales people! Especially when they are telling me I won something. The trick there is to make sure the little fluff bit dosen't weaken your "no".



The difference between, "Thank you for thinking of me, no" and "Oh, I'm just too busy, no" is the difference between having fun lunches with your girlfriend and spending six weeks distributing overpriced wrapping paper.



If you want to help the PTA sell wrapping paper than do it and enjoy it. But don't be the one doing it because you didn't have a good enough excuse!




And if you happen to have some of that left over Christmas wrapping paper in your closet then you simply must come to our event and buy fun stuff to wrap!

A Pink Expose!

They almost had me!


I was just one step away from signing up to be a Mary Kay lady.

Granted I couldn't sell anything if my life depended on it. And it's true that I do not usually wear makeup - and when I do it's too much. And I can't be bothered with a 'skin care system' when I have a perfectly good bar of soap. So why would I even consider signing on? Is it because their people are just that persuasive?







Not really. I can say no to anyone. In fact I have a secret formula for saying no that I will share with you at a later time. The reason Mary Kay almost got me in her clutches is that she whispered two little words in my ear: Pink Cadillac.







I may not be a Mary Kay kind of person but I am definitely a pink Cadillac kind of person. Here is a review of a Cadillac by some chap over in Britain:

. . . Its gas guzzling must be phenomenal. Still I like it, it is trashy and gaudy and too big but wow! . . .

Sound like anyone we know?




Until the Team H.O.P.E. ladies kidnapped me I never cared much for pink - except for pink Cadillacs. Even when I was a die hard Ford girl I still had a soft spot for Pink Cadillacs. Seriously - what's not to adore:









A Cadillac would be cool for cruising around town - but because they tend to have beefy engines, we could even use it when we went camping:







This one I really like because, even thought the fins aren't as big as they would become in later years, the front end is a work of art. This is the same year as my car and I never tire of looking at that eyebrow shaped fender.








Hello? Clint Eastwood? Cool Car? Handcuffs? (May have said too much there. Instruct the jury to disregard last comment)












So I was in a blissful state thinking that all I had to do was sell a few bottles of cream or lotion or whatever this is and I would have my very own Pink Cadillac!



My mentor saw what I was thinking and reminded me that the Cadillacs are not 50's models - they are new cars. That's okay - I can do new.








Then she showed me the pictures:








Oh my. Okay. So maybe Mary Kay isn't for me. Even though everyone I ever met that sells it adores the company. (And they don't seem brainwashed!)





So why the Mary Kay obsession today? Because as I was tripping along the web I came across a book that I guess uncovers the evil side of Mary Kay. Yawn.


By the way - even if you are not a fan of the Mary Kay business model - you've got to love their Satin Hands collection. I can't post a picture here because the tubes are orange and not pink. But trust me - it's good stuff!



Anyway - it occurred to me that Mary Kay shares alot in common with the breast cancer charity folks. The most obvious of course is the relentless pink. The other is the world wide domination thing.



Now when a company or an organization gets really truly fantastically big - they make truly big targets for anyone and everyone with a grudge.



I have no doubt that some of the complaints people have with Mary Kay and with Susan G. K. are legitimate. But because I am a cynic deep down under my PollyAnna persona - I can't help but wonder whether all these people are seriously trying to improve the world or if some of them are jumping on the very bandwagon they are denouncing.



If you don't find the MLM structure profitable and satisfying, don't join. Go get a job at a company with cubicles and stop whining! Think more breast cancer money should go for finding the cause and less toward the cure, (or visa versa - I've heard very good arguments for both sides) then write letters to the people who make these decisions or start your own charity.



One of the odd things I've noticed about the anti-MK and the anti-SGK people is that they accuse the people at the top of exploiting the people at the bottom. A valid enough criticism in many ways. But then these same people do not hesitate to direct their scorn and disdain at these so called victims. Nice.



Are we here at Team H.O.P.E. capable of being exploited? Well, many of us are cub scout moms so yes - we have been known to work long hours for no tangible reward. Some folks call that exploitation - some call it nurturing.



This is supposed to be a happy happy happy blog so I will climb down off my soap box now and leave you with a fun little diversion:

Yo Ho Ho Ho

Yeah, that's a bit of humor. Yo ho ho - as in a bottle of rum, and ho ho ho as in egg nog season. I make a killer homemade egg nog. Although with all the salmonella outbreaks I worry that it might be killer egg nog so I don't make it anymore. And certainly not in August. Can you believe those ladies are out there walking in this heat? It's good for them - builds character.

So - on to the subject of today's post.

Like all normal women (no offense Daun) I love chocolate. The darker and denser the better. Although I can tell the difference between Godiva oops, I mean Dove and Palmers - I am not a chocolate snob. I don't really care where the beans were grown and whether they were cold pressed or what. (I think I may be confusing cocoa beans with olives here. Extra Virgin? Well isn't that special?)

Sorry - I must stay on topic. So I enjoy chocolate. But for some reason I've never been outrageously impressed with Chocolate martinis. And I just figured out why. Chocolate martinis are usually made with vodka. Vodka has its' uses but it dosen't really add anything to chocolate. Rum, on the other hand. . . . . .

I was reading the tasting notes from "Bar and Drink Magazine" on Isla ñ Rum and found myself thinking how good this would be with chocolate.

Think about it - Vodka is made from potatoes and Rum is made from sugar ~ which one belongs in a chocolate martini?

I can tell, you're starting to believe! Alas, you do not know where to find a good chocolate martini mix or Isla ñ Rum.

Would we leave you hanging like that? We are here to serve! It just so happens that we have a Dove Chocolate at Home consultant coming to our Christmas in July Tea. And Dove just happens to sell Chocolate Martini mix.

And. . . .

The generous and kind US distributor of Isla ñ Rum has donated to our events - so you might just win a bottle. It doesn’t get any better than that!

Boy now I'm thinking about eggnog and rum balls and figgy pudding and . . . .

We may just need to post some Christmas recipes here in the next day or so - stay tuned!

Plans for tonight - Meet the Ladies

Yep, tonight's the night!

The Team H.O.P.E. and Simply the Breast
ladies will be at the wal-mart at
Baseline and Country Club (Arizona Avenue) in Mesa
selling stuff.


We will also be signing autographs with our
Pink Sharpie Markers.



We will be there from 6 PM to 10 PM.

We have t-shirts.

We have Pink Neck^® coolers.

We have soap.

We have jewelry.

We hope to see y'all (yep - each and every one of you!)

Another misunderstanding - but has free recipe at end!

Good Morning! Okay, maybe I was a wee bit mean to Kristine and Jeannie yesterday. We all make mistakes. As smart and conscientious and aware as I am, I still manage to get something wrong on rare occasions.

Case in point: I got an email the other day from Miss Jeannie saying that Cookie Lee is definitely coming to our Christmas in July Tea. I was so excited. I wondered what type of cookies these would be. I allowed my imagination to frolic happily for a moment:












Yes I like cookies.



One might even say I love cookies.



In fact here's a picture of me enjoying a chocolate chip cookie.





So I was rhapsodizing to Kristine about what type of cookies we might expect when she broke the news. Apparently Cookie Lee sells jewelry.

So why aren't they called Jewelry Lee? Well I guess the founder of the company is named Cookie Lee, or so they claim. I actually have a friend named Kookie and she dosen't sell anything - but she makes a killer Frogs Eye Salad. Remind me later and I will get the recipe for you!

But back to Cookie Lee. They make some very nice pieces. Like this one:



granted, they aren't edible - but they are pretty. And you don't have to use your little slide rule to figure out how many bites you can take and still have enough WW points left over for dinner!



And they don't go bad - which means if you bought a bracelet at our event you could mail it to your sister-in-law back east for Christmas.

Yep - the more I think about it the more I realize Cookie Lee Jewelry is a good thing. But I still have Cookies on the brain so I will share a super easy recipe that makes the best butter cookies I have ever made.

You can use a heart shaped cutter (maybe buy one from PamperedChef while you are at our Christmas in July Tea) and just cut the pointy end off to make these adorable shapes.

Butt-er Cookie Dough

2 1/2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour (12 1/2 ounces)

3/4 cup superfine sugar* (5 1/2 ounces)

1/4 teaspoon table salt

16 tablespoons unsalted butter ( 2 sticks)

cut into sixteen 1/2-inch pieces, at cool room temperature (about 65 degrees)

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

2 tablespoons cream cheese , at room temperature

Glaze

1 tablespoon cream cheese , at room temperature

3 tablespoons milk

1 1/2 cups confectioners’ sugar (6 ounces)

1. FOR THE COOKIES: In bowl of standing mixer fitted with flat beater, mix flour, sugar, and salt on low speed until combined, about 5 seconds. With mixer running on low, add butter 1 piece at a time; continue to mix until mixture looks crumbly and slightly wet, about 1 minute longer. Add vanilla and cream cheese and mix on low until dough just begins to form large clumps, about 30 seconds.

2. Remove bowl from mixer; knead dough by hand in bowl for 2 to 3 turns to form large cohesive mass. Turn out dough onto countertop; divide in half, pat into two 4-inch disks, wrap each in plastic, and refrigerate until they begin to firm up, 20 to 30 minutes. (Can be refrigerated up to 3 days or frozen up to 2 weeks; defrost in refrigerator before using.)

3. Adjust oven rack to middle position; heat oven to 375 degrees. Roll out 1 dough disk to even 1/8-inch thickness between 2 large sheets parchment paper; slide rolled dough on parchment onto baking sheet and chill until firm, about 10 minutes. Meanwhile, repeat with second disk.

4. Working with first portion of rolled dough, cut into desired shapes using cookie cutter(s) and place shapes on parchment-lined baking sheet, spacing them about 1 1/2 inches apart. Bake until light golden brown, about 10 minutes, rotating baking sheet halfway through baking time. Repeat with second portion of rolled dough. (Dough scraps can be patted together, chilled, and re-rolled once.) Cool cookies on wire rack to room temperature.

5. FOR THE GLAZE: Whisk cream cheese and 2 tablespoons milk in medium bowl until combined and no lumps remain. Whisk in confectioners’ sugar until smooth, adding remaining milk as needed until glaze is thin enough to spread easily. Drizzle or spread scant teaspoon glaze with back of spoon onto each cooled cookie, as desired.

Note*
If you cannot find superfine sugar, you can obtain a close approximation by processing regular granulated sugar in a food processor for about 20 seconds. If desired, the cookies can be finished with sprinkles or other decorations immediately after glazing.

Tea, but no crumpets.

As you hopefully already know - one of the wonderful companies donating food to our Christmas in July Tea is Fairytale brownies. Here at Team H.O.P.E. we are all enamored of Fairytale brownies. What's not to love?



Belgium chocolate! Arizona based company! Kosher! Real Butter! Strong commitment to community. (Their favorite charity is a group called Kaboom!) These folks are wonderful! And so are their brownies. They even make a sugar free version.




We also have food being provided by Miss Toni - who is a bit of a legend in the tea party circles of the valley. (We don't have a link to her website here because she doesn't have a site. All her business is done by referral and word-of-mouth. You'll have to come to our event to meet her!)

So many people have wondered why we don't just prepare the food ourselves. A legitimate question I suppose. . . . If you're Martha Stewart!

Seriously, most of us can do a pretty decent brownie from scratch but we have kids and we don't have commercial kitchens, so getting such a generous donation from the Fairy Tale people is best for all concerned.

Also, and I probably shouldn't mention this, some of us have a better grasp on the whole concept of 'tea' food than others.

When we started planning this event we had a planning meeting. (I don't care what our husbands' say - it is important to have planning meetings at places with happy hour specials - it improves our exposure!)

Anyway - we were planning the menu and dividing tasks. I knew we couldn't trust Kristine with beverages - she thought Lemonade came in powdered form, so we asked her to make scones. She said, "Aren't scones the things you hang on the wall and put candles in?" So we put Kristine in charge of napkins. (See the pink Christmas post below to find out how that went!)

Jeannie needed a food assignment that her three sons, her husband, and her dog wouldn't try to get into.



So we put her in charge of cucumber sandwiches.




Now you know why we are having food brought in!

The things we won't do for the cause

Yeah, not much we won't do.

Short post today because we are busy beavers!

I'll tell you about our latest gig later - it involves football and driving across the entire valley, not exactly my favorite things. But I guess every day can't be a tie dye day.

Since I don't have much to report I should at least tell you a story:

Two elderly sisters donated $5 to a charity and, to their surprise, won tickets to a football game. Since they had never seen a live football game before, Ann thought the free tickets would provide an excellent opportunity for doing so.

"I think so, too," said Bonnie. "Let's go!"

They soon found themselves high in a noisy stadium overlooking a large, grassy expanse. They watched the kickoff and the seemingly endless back-and-forth struggles that comprised the scoreless first half.

They enjoyed the band music and cheerleader performance that followed. Then came the second half. When the teams lined up for the second-half kickoff, Ann nudged her sister.

"I guess we can go home now, Bonnie," she said. "This is where we came in."

Have A Wonderful Day!

Dreaming of a Pink Christmas

Short disclaimer here: I am probably the oldest of the Team H.O.P.E. and Simply the Breast crew. Well, there are members that were born years earlier than me, but they are hip and cool in a way I can only imagine. I don't realize how old I truly am until I find myself tsk-tsking and tut-tutting some new development. As I was last Saturday.

Once again we need music and imagery from the 70's. Think about the perennial favorite, "A Charlie Brown Christmas". Remember when Charlie Brown and Linus went off to fetch a tree. One of the little girls suggested they find a pink tree. Allow us traditionalists a moment to shudder.




I am most certainly NOT dreaming of a pink Christmas. Yes, I know - when we first posted info about our Christmas in July Tea we did have a picture at the bottom of the post of a pink tree. That is because we are raising money for the 3-day walk for breast cancer and by law we are required to saturate our lives with pink! But in reality if I had that pink Christmas tree in my house I would have nightmares! Christmas trees are green! Duh! (and snow is white - I'm not sure who thought up the idea of selling fake snow in pale green and pale pink - that's just wrong!)

So even though we have some pink Christmas ornaments for sale we are not doing a whole pink Christmas thing. We know that red and green are true Christmas colors.



So last Saturday I was at our local Hobby Lobby buying clear ornaments and you know what I saw? Rows and rows of black Christmas ornaments and garland and decorations. I was shocked. I was appalled.



I've gotten used to black bridesmaids dresses - even though I wouldn't go there. I understand why teens wear black cocktail dresses to the prom (I don't like it; prom dresses should be pastel colored clouds of youthful innocence just bordering on grown up elegance, but I understand it) But black christmas stuff is just too too much! Here is what one of the websites selling black holiday gear had to say on the subject:

Sleek and stylish, the Glossy Black Ball Ornament offers you an excellent way to update your Christmas tree decorations. With its shiny black surface and round shape, it’s a simple yet sophisticated approach to a classic holiday ornament. Add it your Christmas tree for a more contemporary look.

Oh please. Why does Christmas have to be contemporary? If you have a sleek and stylish tree you are going to be hesitant to hang the green and red glitter ornaments your kids made in kindergarten and that is just too sad for words.

So when you come to our Christmas in July Tea please do not expect a sleek and sophisticated display. Some of our consultants will have contemporary items for sale but, with the exception of the pink ornaments we have to have, we are showing our christmas spirit in christmas colors!

Okay - I've just been informed that our christmas napkins are pink and red. What is the world coming to? Tsk Tsk!

Living and Loving

Once again I wish we had music here! Y'all remember the song, Southern Lovin, from the early 70's? Great Song! Recorded by both Jim Ed Brown and the late great Mr. Hank Thompson. The song was written by Chris Wood, James Capaldi and Steve Winwood. Let's just take a moment and all sing along. Loudly!

I've been loved in Cincinnati Evansville and St Paul
All the gals were pretty and I ain't tryin' to find no fault
There's a gal in the Windy City I can't forget about

But if you want to love like you ain't had love
go south south south
Southern lovin take that southern lovin every time


There's a sweet thing in Augusta got the softest lips of all
When she kisses on you you just climb right up the wall
And there's a nurse I know in Memphis got love for a middle name


If she ever gets her hands on you it's
shame shame shame
Southern lovin take that southern lovin every time


Now everybody's heard about that southern hospitality
But that ain't why the sunny south has got a hold on me
There's a teacher down in Dallas I ain't seen in quite sometime
Just to think about her burns a hole right through my mind
And there's a gal in Bogalusa just can't love enough


I'll tell you about her with just three words she's
tough tough tough
Southern lovin take that southern lovin every time

So you may be wondering why we are singing 'Southern Loving' here at Team H.O.P.E. HQ? Because I hear that we have a Southern Loving Home Consultant coming to our Christmas in July Tea. I'm not sure what a Southern Loving Consultant sells but I bet it will be fun!


- Wait! Hold on! Stop the presses!

Seems I had that just a wee bit wrong. We have a 'Southern Living at Home' consultant. That's different.

Y'all know the Southern Living people right? They publish cookbooks, including the worlds most beautiful Christmas Cookbooks. No offense Martha Stewart - you do nice things, but the Southern Living people wrote the book on elegant and sumptuous entertaining!



Yes, I know that book is a few years old. We'll be referring back to the book in a few days on a completely unrelated topic.


Now Southern Living does great books - but they also have an entire line of Home Products. Home decor, organizing stuff, serving pieces, garden items - pretty much everything you need to make your home look exactly the way you always imagined.


So when you come to our Christmas in July Tea be sure to look for Miss Jennifer. Just don't tell her about the whole song mix-up. Thanks!

Fake it til you make it

This is a long, convoluted prelude to yet another scintillating “Pink Ribbon Product Review”. I don’t want to get ahead of myself though.

You’ve seen the Knifty Knitters at your local craft store right? They are usually round but they can also be rectangular. They could also be oval – but they aren’t.



That’s the one I bought. Why? Because I’ve always wanted to knit but was never able to follow the directions in a book well enough to actually produce anything more than a big tangle of knotted yarn.

But I thought that with this thing – I could fake knit until I sort of understood what was going on and then I could maybe move on to real knitting.

I know one of y’all is going to ask why I want to knit rather than crochet. I would like to say it’s because I don’t approve of the silent T.

Actually it is a sound thing – I love the little clickity clickity knitting needle noise. I also want to make sweaters; which seems to be more of a knitting thing than a crochet thing.

So I bought the loom and two balls of yarn. No – not balls; I bought two skeins of yarn. And did I buy the deep hunter green that looked so soft and luxurious? Did I buy the peacock teal that would match my couch? Did I buy the rust color my mom plans to paint her car? No, as you’ve probably guessed I bought pink yarn. It’s not even hot, neon, sexy, Pink Lady pink. It is soft , one might say ribbon colored, pink.

So I’ve got my yarn, I’ve got my fake knitting ring thing (technically it is called a loom – but I thought a loom was for weaving) and I am ready to rock and roll! The directions in the loom are for making a baby hat – but it said you could use the same technique and make a scarf – you just make it longer and then get on the internet to find out how to finish it. So I knitted. I knitted in the morning. I knitted in the evening.

I knitted in the morning. I knitted in the evening. All over this land.
I knitted out danger. I knitted out a warning.
I knitted out love between my brothers and my sisters.
All over this land

Okay – so I only knitted in the morning and the evening and every now and then in the afternoon. I knitted my little heart out. Until one day I was untwisting my project and discovered it was long enough to be a scarf! Yea!

So I go online and get to the Knifty Knitting site and look for the directions. Oh man! I finally find what seems to be the directions and I can not make sense out of them. I am not entirely surprised – I’ve been trying for four years now to learn the basic scout knots. Not pretty. I tried to learn the lanyard lacing enough to be able to teach the scouts. It is so completely beyond me why I have such difficulty with knots.

I found a website that has animated knot tying that you can slow down to ‘super stupid’ (which I am not) and I still manage to make big tangled messes. Or a knot that when tugged does not support weight but rather returns to being a piece of rope.

So I call my friend Charli. Charli is a knitting goddess. Wait til you see what she knitted for Team H.O.P.E. for our Christmas in July Tea. It will knock your socks off! (Obviously that is just a figure of speech – but if you did loose your socks Charli could knit you a new pair.)

So Charli agreed that the directions I read were too difficult to follow (She’s not only talented – she is kind as well) and she referred me to another website that had crystal clear directions. The directions were clear – my needing to go back and undo part of it was due to my own inattentiveness.

As I was trying to pull the yarn free without breaking it I was muttering rude things under my breath and began to have doubts. First of all, I’ve seen a lot of knitting (albeit from a distance) and I don’t remember other knitters using needle nosed pliers! I also don’t recall hearing them curse and swear.

(There is an outstanding folk group called The Knitters – and I heard a rumor that some of their members used to be in punk bands – so maybe those knitters swear on occasion?)

Anyway – I took a deep breath, worked the difficult part loose, and recommenced finishing my scarf. The last sentence said:

The last sequence will be UP through the 1st peg, then DOWN through the last. You will make the equivalent of little cursive E’s all around the loom. Now pop everything off your loom, and voila - stretchy bind-off.

So I come up through the first, down through the last – the loops look much more like cursive e’s than my cursive writing does. I am about to do my happy dance when it occurs to me – I have a tail of yarn that I don’t know what to do with. Plus the tail at the beginning of the project.

I assume I need to tie a knot but I don’t know what kind or exactly where to tie it. So I email Charli but so far no response. (I’m thinking maybe when you ask someone for help you shouldn’t start your email with “Okay Mrs. SmartyPants,”)

Yes, I’ve looked online and I can not find the answer. So assuming Charli gets back to me – (or one of you lovely people knows what to do and will take pity on me) I will finish this scarf and move on to the next thing – which will lead us to our next Pink Ribbon Product Review.

And if you want to buy this scarf it will be on sale at the Christmas in July Tea. Who knows – it may even come with a free loom if I don’t get an answer by then!