Friday, September 26, 2008

Awl Shook Up

I lost my awl.  I know it's around here somewhere . . . . 

Why do I need an awl?  First off, everyone needs an awl.  Y'awl  just never know when you are going to need to poke a hole in something.  

Okay - enough goofiness!  I am finishing up the centerpieces for our golf tournament tomorrow.  A majority of our golfers are men and I know men usually don't notice or care about centerpieces but I think they will like ours!  I'll post pictures in a few days.  

Here at Team HOPE we are calmly finishing up with a few last minute details.  (Semi-hysterical manic laugh.  Followed by gasps that might be laughing - or might be sobbing)  

I'm exaggerating of course, it's just that here at Team H.O.P.E.  we can't seem to do anything half-way or even just average.  Every charity in town has a golf tournament and we want ours to be the best.  Or at very least the most memorable and fun.  So we put in a few extra hours and do a few special things.  We give it our awl!   And we enjoy doing it!

While I have been making centerpieces and Tina J has been organizing awards and Jeannie has been slaving over a hot sewing machine we have also been getting in golf practice.  

The other day Tina N and Jessica took Tina's mom and aunt out to the course.  As I may have mentioned here before Tina's aunt is a very highly trained and skilled nurse.  

So the four of them are out on the course and Jessica hits a ball and it flies off sideways.  The ball hit a poor guy who was just getting out of his cart. He immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in evident agony.

It was like one of those clips from the funny video shows, except it wasn't funny because the man was in pain and Jessica felt absolutely awful.

Our ladies rushed over to the man and immediately began to apologize. Tina’s aunt explained that she was a nurse and could help him. 

The poor man groaned and gasped out, “I'll be alright...I'll be fine in a few minutes”.  Yet he remained in the fetal position, white as a ghost, still clasping his hands together at his crotch, tears streaming from his eyes.

Tina’s aunt persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and she put her hands inside. She began to gently massage him. She then asked him, “How does that feel?” To which he replied, “It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like the dickens!”  



Monday, September 22, 2008

More fore!

Did I mention that we are having a golf tournament this weekend?  It is a bit of an undertaking but it is so much fun!  We have learned so much from Tina J!  Golf is just a whole new world for many of us.  (Professional football is a whole new world for me but we will discuss that later in the season!)  

We have some truly great prizes and auction items!  Apparently we will have two raffles – the normal raffle with tickets that sell for $1.00 each or six for $5.00 (which is a savings of 17% - better than a money market account!)  We also have special raffle tickets attached to the Mulligans that are for a Sedona Resort and Golf package valued at $1000.00

And of course we can’t forget the Hole-In-One prize of a brand new Harley Davidson Motorcycle being offered by Chester’s Harley Davidson of Mesa! 

Even though we will be working at the tournament and not actually golfing we thought we should golf a little bit to get familiar with it so we could be better golf hostesses.  So last week we got a foursome together and headed out to the course.

Jeannie, who is very athletic,  was teeing off from the back tees. She hit a terrifically hard shot.

Unbeknownst to her, Kristine was about to tee off from the red tees and was directly in front of her.

The ball hit Kristine in the temple and knocked her on her derrière. 

To make a long story short - - - we took Kristine to urgent care where a very kind and good looking doctor treated her. 

At one point the doctor came out of the examining room to talk to Jeannie.  "Your friend has a slight concussion.    You said you hit a golf ball and struck her in the temple. Is that correct?"

"Yes doctor," Jeannie replied, "that's correct."

"Well, Jeannie, I also found a large bruise on Kristine's right hip. Do you know anything about that?"

"Yes doctor," Jeannie said, "but it's kind of embarrassing."

"I need to know everything before I can release her," the doctor said. "And don't worry: believe me, I've heard everything."

"Well, OK," Jeannie said. "The bruise was from my mulligan."