Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Get the biggest aluminum tree you can find, Charlie Brown, maybe painted pink.

Remember the other day when we addressed the second most common search term that brought people here? Well today we are going to tackle the very most common search. Most common depending on how you count, and what time period you are looking at.



During the week leading up to the 3-day walk the most common search was from people trying to find a map of the route. So I feel sort of bad that folks were directed to the post that had this map.



I had so many people hitting that picture that I actually looked up what exactly it was a map of. It is a map of the New Alresford town ship just outside of Winchester England. Winchester? See? I told you everything is connected! Not only is this township near Winchester - they are most famous for their Duck Races.


Okay - newcomers to this blog might wonder why I posted the map of an obscure town in England when I was discussing a route in Phoenix, Arizona, USA. Loyal readers know the answer; it was pink!


Which leads us in an almost logical fashion to the actual question we are addressing today. But first a word about our statistical methods here at Team H.O.P.E.


We glance at the Google report and see what looks to be the most common question. Every now and then we actually look closer and count the entries (you can see our lips move while we count). But that whole counting thing is overrated. Partly because there are so many ways to ask the same question. The question today is "where can I find inappropriately colored Christmas decorations?"


No, nobody actually phrased it exactly like that. Many people came searching for black ornaments. Or pink trees. Or pink and brown ornaments. Or black and pink ornaments. Or pink wreaths. You get the idea.


As we have already established here - black Christmas tree ornaments are wrong. It’s like raisins in Cole Slaw.   Or catsup on eggs!  We don't care how 'elegant' or 'stylish' or 'sophisticated' it might be. (the black ornaments – obviously there is nothing sophisticated about catsup, anywhere)


Our opinion regarding pink ornaments? Well that one is a little tricky because we sold a ton of pink Christmas tree ornaments at our fundraisers. But you have to understand, they were PINK RIBBON ornaments. And for the last umpteen months we have been slaves to the PINK RIBBON.


But now that that walk is over and we are trying to figure out where to walk to next, we can admit that pink is not exactly a traditional Christmas color.


For those of you as yet unconvinced that black Christmas tree ornaments are wrong I have found a loophole for you! If you were to make the ornaments yourself; that would be a traditional Christmassy thing to do and the color choice would be irrelevant. And for those of you with teenagers this would be a fun way to spend time with them - without the eye rolling and the scorn that teens feel the need to exhibit when something might possibly be less than cool.


If you are bound and determined to have sophisticated storebought black ornaments (or hot pink, or lime green) then Hobby Lobby on Greenfield road and the Superstition Freeway is probably going to be your best bet here in town.


If you are visiting here from some other state looking for the best place to buy black ornaments I’m afraid we can’t help you.  But we do have some great recipes and some useful product reviews if you want to hang around awhile.


While we are talking about Christmas tree ornaments ~ ~ ~  we've also had people arrive at Team H.O.P.E. looking for Harley Davidson Christmas Ornaments. I know for a fact that Chester's Harley Davidson on Country Club has the official HD 2008 ornament and many other nice gifts and decorations.


You are wondering why we have a problem with black (or pink, or lime green) ornaments and don't seem to have a problem with Harley Davidson ornaments?


Well first of all - we are not a huge fan of motorcycle ornaments - this Hemi V8 ornament is so much cuter!



The thing with the Harley Davidson or Hemi ornament is that it is a specialty ornament rather than a motif or theme.  

How would we feel about a themed Harley tree?  Well now. . . .  seeing as how Black and Orange are the official Harley colors. . . what does that suggest to you?



If you do want a black Christmas tree with orange lights, 

or if you would prefer this tree:



or if you would like a pink tree  (Or lemon-lime.  Or purple.  Or upside down.  Etc.) we might  suggest Treetopia.


(But please remember – we are NOT the better business bureau.  We are a group of moms walking around having fun and trying to make a small difference in the world.  We have never ordered a product from Treetopia and make no claims regarding their delivery schedule or anything else about them)


And lastly; (Yeah that’s what I usually say about half-way through to keep you reading) we have to share something with y’all.  As you are looking for something sleek and stylish and cutting edge for your Christmas décor you might keep in mind that what is sleek and stylish today will be kitschy and campy tomorrow. 


Remember the pink aluminumun tree that Lucy wanted?  Well it’s not only sought after by the retro campy melmac people; but apparently many children of the late 60’s and early 70’s want the tree because it represents tradition and warmth and childhood memories.  That, friends and neighbors, is what we call irony.


We had another Christmas tree to share but this is already quite long enough and we want to give the other tree the time and verbiage it deserves!


So until then, have a holly jolly day!

Oh, and before y'all write to me to gently and kindly inform me that I misspelled that particular metal alloy - it's not exactly spelled wrong, I just spelled it the way I pronounce it!  




1 comment:

Anonymous said...

We tried an aluminum tree back in the 70s. Had a major rebellion in the junior section of the household. Ask your spouse if he remembers:)